I have nothing to put here. Fuck off, I suppose?

So, I'm going to hazard a guess that a large number of people who have ever had the poor chance of a random encounter with me have noticed that I have a great deal of problems with a vast amount of topics. These are, sadly, all superfluous and almost entirely pointless.

Like the random encounter system in the Final Fantasy series, while I remind myself. I'll be honest with you Square. Last time I checked, I was able to ascertain that there was a 50ft giant sandworm or two heading in my general direction for quite some distance before it actually arrived. I was able to do this for as long as I can remember. So why, pray tell, do the characters in your games seem to have the perception of a newborn kitten? Honestly. Why the fuck do they act all surprised when something shows up? More importantly, how the fuck can the aforementioned sandworm sneak up behind you for a surprise attack? They are not subtle. They are the exact opposite of subtle, some might say. They are extremely un-fucking-subtle, would be the main point of this conversation. If I play FFXIIIVIIMCVLIIX (That's the number we're up to now, right?) and find there are random encounters, I swear, I'm only buying the next three or four FF games. It's not like you don't know how. Chrono Trigger is basically what I'd call perfection. Because there's no fucking random encounters.

See what I mean? Completely pointless. There is no point.

I could get angry about important issues - like the distinct lack of equality and the extreme amounts of discrimination between races and genders - but that solves nothing. If people don't act upon these things, words are for nothing. This is the problem. Everyone is far too happy to complain about what is happening out there but nobody wants to take any fucking action. I can write all the words I like but resolutions are not forthcoming. So I'll just go and do things while shouting about minor annoyances here. If you don't like it, well, I don't see anyone forcing you to read this shit, so fuck you. I'm not here to pander to anyone.

You know what I love, though? Eclectic people. They are awesome. They don't care about very much and that's great.

Of course, some of you fuckers have to go and ruin even that for me, don't you? Bastards.

I was at an art market yesterday. Because what I get up to at the weekend is my own fucking business so fuck off. There were quite the few "eclectic" people there. Except none of them were. They were all doing so in a bid to look like cunts. I can safely say mission fucking accomplished. I do hate to use such foul language - no, really - but these people are exactly what is wrong with everything. One girl had a wonderful quirky look. She was wearing a fucking tiara, for fucks sake. But she ruined it by sitting in front of a fucking mirror for half a fucking hour just adjusting it for maximum quirk. Fuck that shit. Seriously. Just get your head out of your fucking arse and stop acting like a dick. If you're doing it to be odd, just fuck you.

It's not just quirky people though. Everyone is obsessed with image. No matter what people need to be the most attractive. It makes me fucking sick. All I see everywhere is fad diets, size 0 models being considered attractive, beauty treatments, fake tans. It's all so ludicrous that it makes me want to stab people in the face just for fucking existing. It's a point I keep making, but no one listens so I'm going to keep going on about it. It's OK for you to look how you do. It's fine, honestly.

You bastards in the alternative scene are the ones that really get me. You're the worst of the fucking lot. How you can even pretend that you're not doing exactly the same fucking thing with an inverted colour scheme is beyond me. You wear branded clothes but it's OK, because they're not "mainstream" brands. You wear a fuckton of makeup, but it's OK because it's dark makeup. You go and fuck yourselves because you're all dic... No, wait. That's just wishful thinking on my behalf. But you would, if you could, wouldn't you? Because you've got such a fucking hard on for how amazingly different you are that you can't see the wood for the fucking trees. You're all fucking the same. And certainly none of you are anything even approaching what you call "punk rock" with your identifit fucking image.

Fuck this, I'm off for work before I break something. I just need to go spend a week doing my hair and makeup before I go tear out a bathroom because everyone's going to be fucking looking at me all the fucking time, right?

*Insert witty *insert witty title* gag here*

So, here I am. On the train. Typing a blog post with my Blackberry. The only things I'm currently missing are a suit and a smug grin of self satisfaction that can only be attained by earning far too much money from rimming their immediate superior. I mean this metaphorically, of course. I imagine were they to literally rim their bosses, they would be stuck in a perpetual grimace, as one would assume anus is quite the acquired taste.

I really don't have anything much to say. This is more myself testing I am able to blog on the go. Which it seems I am. As you can probably tell. From the fact I'm fucking blogging on the go.

Expect full on angry rants soon. People have once more pissed me off. The porn I am writing will be delayed briefly. Yes, that is something I do now.

Until then, go do something productive and get off the fucking computer for five fucking minutes.

Test Post

This is a mobile test post. It does not concern you. Nosey prick.

Random Annoyances...

- Heat magazine: A front page headline saying "Is Split A Publicity Stunt?" is playing into their fucking hands just a little bit, isn't it? I mean, mission fucking accomplished, surely?
Also, anyone that thinks that Heat or any of the fucking other magazines like this are actually worthwhile reading, or even suitable for anything other than kindling please immolate themselves after looking up immolate in the dictionary. At the very least can you stop tainting my blog with your fucking presence? Thanks very fucking much. Dicks.

- Green Day's new album: It's fucking amazing, OK? Ignore the fucking fact that it's not a Green Day album like the ones they released fucking 12 years ago. Seriously. This is not fucking "New" Green Day. It's just fucking Green Day. Deal with it, fuckwits.

- The Heat readers referred to in the first section of this entry: Seriously, why are you not fucking dead yet?

- Sarah not writing shit: Fucking sort it out, stop being so fucking lazy and get your fucking arse into gear and fucking write something. It's ok, noone's expecting very fucking much from you anyway, so you don't even need to make any real effort.

-World of Warcraft: FUCK YOU! I managed to quit this game and yet I'm fucking back on there. Fucking thing. I don't even enjoy playing it. It's just a fucking compulsion. That I fucking pay for. Fucking great. Excuse me, would please rape me for £8.99 a month? Because I think I have too much fucking free time that I could spend fucking being abused whilst being in agony instead. Thanks.

-You: Nothing personal, it's just statistically probable that if I ever met you I would think you're a fucking prick.

Back once again...

Good morning, afternoon or evening, dependant on whatever time you happen to be reading this.

I've returned, once more, from what would appear to be the grave to start ranting and raving all over again. And you are the privileged few who get to hear about it.

Although I'm currently sat in front of the shiny new netbook without a fucking clue what to type. But I'm still here.

Because fuck writers block, that's why.

You know what really fucks me off? I mean, I know there's a lot, but let's focus on one particular point. Ignorance.

I was watching a band (who shall remain nameless, as one of the members is a mate and I wish not to cause trouble (I know, shocking, isn't it?)) who, at one point during the set, announced that Obama is "still a politician"

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm aware that the man will inevitably not be able to resolve all issues and will undoubtedly create some more of his own. Nonethe-fucking-less, this is the most ignorant statement I've heard in quite some time. You know who else is still a politician? Kim Jong Il. And Mugabe too. They're politicians! Of course, this doesn't really concern you, does it? Because you're too busy with your heads up your own fucking arses that you don't realise that the rest of the world does indeed have issues that go beyond the ones we have. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware that we have problems here that need to be resolved. But, we're not going to be beaten or shot if we don't vote in june, are we? Are we going to be killed and our flesh sold on the streets? No, no we are not. So, quite frankly, shut the fuck up if you're going to start spouting off this bullshit.

Then again, this band also referred to themselves are "Pure '77" so quite frankly I'm not surprised that they fucking pissed me off.

Itch from the King Blues is another one. What a prick. To paraphrase him briefly: "If there were no more arms manufacturers, then there would be no more war."

To counterpoint him; "Are you completely fucking retarded?"

Do you honestly think that we've only been killing each other since there were "arms manufacturers"? Do you REALLY think that people haven't been killing each other since the dawn of time with whatever came to hand? Do you sincerely believe that if the current weapons cease to exist, that people will just stop murdering each other? Because, sir, if you do, I heartily suggest you go and fuck yourself for being an ignorant dick.

I don't agree with war. I honestly do not. But I also don't agree with violent protest. In fact, if you're going to stage a violent protest that is anti war, then I think that you may have become a bit of a hypocritical twat who is missing the point somewhat, would you not agree? At what point does that make you better than them, may I ask? Because they started the war? Fuck off, would you? Cheers

Seriously. People need to fucking think more often. This may not have been that amusing, or indeed even remotely entertaining. But you already know I don't care what you think.

Not bad for someone with writers block, I personally think.

If you disagree, feel free to let me know so I can completely discard your invalid arguments.

Consider This a Warning

With new toys and inspired by a will to start shouting at things again, I shall recommence writing. You have been warned. There will be profanities, needless abuse and possibly some references to music at some point or another.

Until tomorrow, people. Until tomorrow.

Ladies and Gentlemen

Photos do not make you look fat.

You are fat. Fucking deal with it.

This also goes for anyone that says photos make them look *insert adjective here*

Photos are a representation of what you look like. They do not alter your appearance in any way shape or form. If you believe photos have that mythical power, I would like to meet you so that I can show you something that will modify your appearance. That being a shovel to the face

Fucks sake, the world is full of fucking idiots.

By all means, if you want someone to reassure you that how you look is considered socially acceptable, then go ahead. But don't ever attempt to garner shallow and false compliments from me in this manner.

I don't even care what you look like. Honestly, I couldn't care less. But I will point out this fucking fact whenever somebody utters this within earshot.

And more to the point. If you care so much about how you look, then why don't you actually fucking do something about it? Put down the fast fucking food, stop fucking drinking and fucking do something that doesn't involve sitting on the internet whining about how a camera has magically added several kilos to each of your thighs. That statement might seem hypocrtical from someone who is posting this on a blog. But you forget one minor detail.

I don't give a fuck about what I look like, or what you think about how I look.

Fucking idiots.