Hi, I'm Gavin from Autoglass...

And I am a cunt.

I mean, far be it for me to judge an individual purely on the basis of his performance in those adverts, but he clearly is a massive prick. Just look at the gormless look on his face or the vaguely downs-esque way he talks. I'm sorry for any downs sufferers that may get offended by being compared to Gavin from Autoglass.

He can fill my crack with his special resin any time. And by "fill my crack" I mean "die" and by "with his special resin" I mean "in a fire" and by "any time" I mean "now."

I hate getting frustrated by nothing sometimes, but there you go. Adverts are especially annoying me right now. Those fucking meerkats can fuck right off too. They tried to claim that that it was the most common typo of their site. Are you fucking shitting me? MEERKAT? How can you accidentally type that instead of MARKET? No. Fuck off. How the fuck can someone type comparethe and then suddenly go hideously wrong and type fucking meerkat. My fingers even automatically go to type market when typing meerkat. That's how impossible that typo is. Fucking dicks. Fuck you. Fucking meerkat fuckers.

That GoCompare guy can stay though, anyone who has pissed off as many people as I have deserves my respect. It's at the point where my girlfriend changes the channel whenever it's on. So I've set it as my ringtone. Fuck it, right?

Why must I get frustrated by the littlest of things? There's world hunger, war, discrimination and everything going on right now and I'm fucking complaining about fucking adverts. And saying fucking a fucking lot.

Anyway, I've got more important things to worry about right now so I'm fucking off. Fuck this. I'm never watching TV again. Until Glee, anyway. Fucking bastard TV show is the best thing in existence and I won't hear a bad word about it.